Mommy musings

Tyler & Nathan: age 1













I had a great Mother's Day that was filled with all the good things...breakfast in bed, homemade gifts/cards from the kids, a long nap, no housework, red meat, and hot fudge brownie sundaes---my recipe for a great day. And now I am back to my regular busy normal life. I am currently in the process of evaluating the clothing situation for the summer. Any mom with kids knows this can be quite a process. Taking out what clothes don't fit, packing clothes to be saved for the next kid, unpacking clothes that were saved and then figuring out what still needs to be purchased. It's like a full time job. This year I found it rather a sad job though. Miranda and Jacob no longer have boxes of clothes waiting for them, but there are plenty of boxes for Tyler and Nathan. As I pulled out the clothes for Nathan it brought back many memories of my little Tyler--my happy preschooler Tyler--my Arizona Tyler. Where has he gone? I miss him so! Several shirts had chewed up necks and sleeves--an old habit of his--how and why did they get saved? Just to make me remember some day I guess. Now seeing Nathan in those clothes I think "He can't be getting that big can he?" And it starts all over. I'm missing my little Nathan. Where did he go? And I'm sad because I know he will never be back. My friends, I don't think I will be doing well this Fall when my youngest starts Kindergarten. There's a part of me who wants to keep him small and singing (yelling?!?) from the podium at church on Mother's Day "Mother I love you, Mother I do!" making sure I can hear him where we sit back in the overflow area. (You guys might have heard him down in Provo...) But I know....someday he will be that teenager who knows it all, who doesn't acknowledge feelings for mom unless prompted. I guess that's maybe why I love to scrapbook. To document the fact that they really did love me once. And it gives me something to hold onto until they acknowledge their love for me again. I wish I knew from the start how fast time would start to fly...I could of held on to them a little longer and spoken a little softer, squeezed their chubbiness a little more. The chubbiness is all gone now (except, of course, in mom!)